Monday, May 3, 2010

How to Handle Criticism in a Relationship


The Beginning
When you are first in love, everything is great and rosy. It is all about us, not you and me.
But after a while the ego begins to creep back in. You begin to notice your partner's faults, and will call attention to them. Your partner in return also will begin to call attention to your faults. In this way the vicious circle begins.

Conflict

What is your reaction to being criticized? You will defend yourself, of course. And you will defend in a tone of voice that is less than pleasant. You partner will then reinforce the criticism in a very emphatic manner, and if you don't shut up a fight will ensue. Exactly the same thing will happen when you decide to criticize your partner.

Projection

All criticism is the result of projection, that is, you project an unfavorable image onto the other person and attack it. So when you are criticized know that it is an image that is being attacked and not you. The thing to do is let it slide. If it is a misunderstanding then explain in a cool and calm manner. As if it does not matter. If the explanation is not accepted (more often than not) then let it go at that. Yes, it does not matter!
When you want to criticize another person you must realize if it is something in you that you do not like and is seeing it in another person. If it is something that needs to be point out then point it out. There is a difference in pointing out something and criticizing. It is in your intent, which your tone of voice will reflect. Practice and know the difference.

Resolution

No relationship will last without tolerance and acceptance. See yourself in the other shoe. You will then gain more understanding. With more understanding you will start to accept more and more. Your partner will change too when you change, but you must take the initiative.

Resources

If you do suffer a breakup here is the top resource to get your ex back - Magic of Making Up

 

Want Ex Back?

The Break Up

So you have a break up and not feeling very good about it. You are going through all kinds of emotions and your head is spinning and you want your ex back very badly. Give yourself a break and relax.

After everything is cooled down you would want to start owning to what had happened. Taking responsibility is the foundation for a strong relationship, may be you had been sloppy about that. A permanent good relationship takes some effort, you have to put in the effort so that you can get your ex back.

Mistakes You Made

You had make mistakes and your ex had too. For his mistake you forgive him, for your mistakes you forgive yourself. Yes! That’s the magic word. That’s the key to a long-term relationship. Mistake are mistakes, they are just that. Mistake just call for correction and that’s it. It would be a mistake indeed if you do not try to get you ex back. I have found the best resource to help you take action and get your ex back, just check the link at the bottom of the article.

Settle Down

I know you want your ex back fast. But first you must allow yourself to settle down. After all the emotions and anguish you need a rest. By rest I really mean rest. Try not to think of the breakup too much, and certainly you should not bombard your ex with phone calls, email, text etc. Your ex needs a rest too.

What Not to Do


  • In the mean time don’t try to make your ex jealous by going out with somebody else. This is a sure way to damage your relationship.

  • Don’t ask for advice and help from other people. These people are amateurs and their “help” may be detrimental to your relationship. You need expert help.

  • If you want to apologize wait until you have consulted expert help. You don’t know what the effects of your apology will be.

  • Don’t go around telling everybody your problems; if your ex knows about this your relationship will take another downturn.
After a period of cooling down, you are ready to take action. How long depends on the severity of the break up, it may take from two weeks to two months.

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Get Man Back

Perhaps at this point, you are broken hearted and you are seeking for ways to get your boyfriend back. This implies that you still love him. Whatever the reasons are for why both of you got separated, you need to find that out in order for you to come up with excellent plans on winning back his love. Take heart, I have found an excellent resource whereby you can start on the road to get man back.

If you are the one who initiated the breakup, then you need to apologize for your actions and try to retract your decision; this should also be accompanied by making a proposal to go back with your relationship with him. If he does not agree with that, then you should respect his decision. He could be badly hurt by your decision to break up with him and he needs ample space and time to think over your relationship.
On the other hand, if he was the one who initiated the separation, then try to reflect on what are the main reasons that compelled him to act on such decision. It could be due to some miscommunication, which only needs to be clarified; or it could also be jealousy as a result of some misinterpretation. In most cases, it is usually due to attitude problems; in this case, you need to make changes on some of your behaviors that he does not like. You must note that in order for the relationship to work out, both parties need to make some accommodations. If your partner does not like you to go out late at night for safety reason, then you should also exert some efforts on your part to come home early in order to appease your partner and give him peace of mind.
Another one of the many ways to get man back is to move on with your life. Now that you have already separated, you have to accept the fact that you are no longer committed to him; hence, you should move on without spending so much time thinking over your problem. Go out your close friends and relatives, do the things you love doing, and make yourself attractive and beautiful. Once your lover observes that you were able to move on without him, he may start to realize that he might eventually lose you and start doing something to get you back. Therein lies the path to get your boyfriend back.

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Get Her Back

You have just broken up with your girlfriend, but you still love her very much. You would desperately want to seek out ways to get her back. Many relationships suffer breakups unexpectedly, mostly due to overheated emotions, leading to on the spot breakups. Of course afterwards one would regret such actions, but how do you proceed to mend your relationship?

The first thing you would want to think about is apologizing. If you initiated the breakup then you do definitely need to apologize. If she initiated the breakup you would still want to apologize for the past mistakes that you have done that led her to resort to such actions. This is of great importance because it will greatly help to maintain communications between both of you; which is vital for your current quest on to get back your ex girlfriend. However, just make sure that when you say sorry, you are sincere and speak in a mature manner. Don’t barrage her with your sentiments over the broken relationship. Additionally, try to propose reconciliation. If she does not accept, then respect her decision and leave her alone for the time being. As time goes by and heads become cooler reconciliation efforts will become easier. Just ensure in the mean time that you are still friends with each other. In this process, never resort to desperate moves like begging or harassing to get her back.

As you can see apologizing can be tricky, if done wrong the breakup would drag on. So you do need expert help. I have gathered the best resource whereby you can follow step by step to get your ex girlfriend back.

Once you are done with your apology, then it is time to move on with your life. Don’t constantly communicate with her. Meanwhile both of you will have time to think over your relationship and what needs to change so that the relationship can last. Gradually she will start to miss you, when the time comes she will call you.

These are just few of the many things you can do to resolve your problem on how to get her back, for complete plans to start on the road to recovery visit this site - Magic of Making Up